Welcome to KrazyLand
“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
“Boy I want to warn you it’ll turn into a Ballroom Blitz.”
“Where am I? What has happened to me? I thought I was just going about my life, living the dream. But something is not right. I am not myself. I’m missing things, not as sharp as I should be. I worry a lot, don’t have much energy, and I feel exhausted all the time. In fact, I am not sleeping well, my mind races at night, and I can’t get things out of my head. My relationships are not good either. My family and close friends say they are worried about me, but they seem more annoyed. Why should they be annoyed with me? They are the ones
who are pissing me off! Something is just not right . . .”
Can you relate? I certainly can.
I have a KrazyGirl. That’s not surprising, because I was a
KrazyGirl. I don’t think I am anymore, but that may be debatable. I promise you: We’ll address this question in the following chapters. Maybe you are a KG? Or perhaps you love one? This book is your survival guide. You may ask, “What exactly is a KrazyGirl?” and “Why do I need a survival guide?”
A KrazyGirl, now called a KG, is a person (not necessarily female), of any age, race, class, or background, who is to some degree, freaking out of their mind. I don’t mean your run-of-the-mill emotional human, but instead, one who is clearly on the KG spectrum. This spectrum ranges from moderately erratic moodiness and temperamental nature (Level One Krazy) to “What is going on here? Do we need professional help?” (Level Two Krazy), to “HOUSTON, we have a problem!” (Level Three, or Batshit Krazy). Please take no offense. We say this with great respect, and with all the love in our hearts. We are in this boat with you. Busting stigma with humor and connection is the KG philosophy and a very effective combination for wellness.
We are more than twice as likely to suffer from anxiety or depression in America than we are to drive a Chevy. Chew on that for a while. So, we need to get over any stigma that can be a hurdle to health. The plain truth is, “we’re all a little Krazy. It’s what we do with our Krazy that counts.” This is the KG tagline. When we’re informed and educated, we can move forward toward lasting mental health and wellness. This is what the KG movement is all about: moving from Krazy to KrazyEmpowered, both for ourselves and for the ones we love.
Levels of depression, anxiety, addiction, and suicide have reached epic proportions. We know this, and we see ads for medications all the time. But what exactly is mental illness? We may have some degree of understanding, especially if we’re personally impacted. However, many people are still essentially in the dark when it comes to these matters. And sadly, stigma and misinformation are still very alive and well in America and around the world. Yet, according to the National Association of Mental Illness, one in five adults in the U.S. will suffer from at least one major episode of mental illness each year. One in six young people ages six to seventeen will be diagnosed with a mental health disorder. More than forty-eight million people meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder. That’s over nineteen percent of the population! Yet only forty-three percent of those diagnosed will seek treatment, even though anxiety is incredibly treatable. Even more tragically, the average delay between the onset of symptoms and beginning any treatment is eleven years! Suicide is the second leading cause of death in young people ages ten to thirty-four. There are actually two hundred ninety-seven diagnoses listed in the bible of mental disorders, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM- 5). Attention deficit disorder (ADD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), borderline personality disorder (BPD), WTF? (LOL!) These abbreviations can confuse—and actually minimize—the difficult reality that accompanies these life-altering conditions. We want to change this sad and avoidable reality and redefine the way we all look at mental health and wellness. This is the mission of the KrazyGirl Project, which is the name of our registered charity.
We refer to “KrazyLand” as the place where the “bad stuff” happens. The onset of symptoms, the wobble off center that life had previously rotated on—we wish to leave this place as far behind in the rearview mirror as possible. No one wants to go to KrazyLand, we get drafted in kicking and screaming. Why then, do so many of us find ourselves here? Is it nature—what we have inherited from our biological hardware or genetic soup (I knew Uncle Bobby was trouble . . . do I need 23andMe now?) Or is it nurture—our formative environments or learned software? It is probably some combination of both. This is one big reason why we need to open up our hearts and minds when we realize we have arrived in KrazyLand.
We all want to know the why of a situation, because that is part of our inquisitive human nature. Oftentimes, knowing why is important, because this knowledge can lead us to a better understanding of what to focus on when considering the menu of wellness options presented in the KGPSG. Knowledge is power, and more of the right stuff is certainly better. But early on in this journey, it is probably more important to focus on what. Meaning, what exactly is going on? What is causing these concerning behaviors? For teenagers and young people of all ages, the cause can be especially confusing! Hormones, friendship and relationship difficulties, school issues, moodiness, self-esteem concerns, eating or sleeping changes—they can all overlap, obscuring the root causes. This tangle can be extremely challenging to tease apart.
How then, can we begin to understand what all of this means? How do we deal with the significant challenges of mental health, if we, or our kid, or a loved one is suffering? That is what the KGPSG is all about, and is best approached with an open mind and a dash of humor. Please try to suspend any judgment or blame as you travel in this new land. Those blinders really get in the way and keep us stuck. KrazyLand is hard enough to navigate without complicating it more! So, are you ready for this ride? (um . . . no . . . not really, can I please exchange my ticket? I will happily pay the cancellation and rebooking fee . . .). Please don’t worry, you are not alone! This guidebook will become your new best friend, and we are here for you every step of the way. Open up and see what can happen.
What follows in these pages is the plain truth about a wide range of topics about surviving and thriving with mental health issues. It is written with love from three different perspectives. The first viewpoint is my own: my early life as a Level Three KG, later as Courtney’s mom while she traveled the long and hard road into and out of KrazyLand, and also from my professional vantage point as a practicing psychotherapist. It is difficult to separate who I am personally and professionally at this point in life; my entire worldview is shaped by all of these aspects. The second perspective comes from the deeply personal experiences of my beautiful daughter, Courtney, who is now a thriving, happy, healthy young adult. However, her path to wellness has not been an easy one. She shares in candid detail what it is like to suffer from mental illness as a teenager, in the spotlight of the #instaperfect world in which we currently live. The third vantage point comes from the many talented professionals who have generously shared their knowledge and expertise in these pages. Each expert we were fortunate enough to interview is widely respected, has many years of experience in their respective fields, and shares what it takes to be healthy and well in KrazyLand. We extend our deepest thanks to each.
This is not an easy club to be a member of, and nobody ever joins voluntarily. We cannot return our package of Krazy once we have received it. When it arrives on our doorstep like an unexpected box from Amazon, (excuse me . . . this is NOT MINE! I did NOT order this. It must be the neighbors . . . ), it becomes ours to own and deal with. So, let’s rise to the occasion. We can open this package with courage, and with curiosity if we chose to. What is inside can be difficult, confusing, emotional, and exhausting. However, if we approach this wisely, it can also contain many amazing possibilities. Our hearts will open up. We can become more connected with others. Our priorities will shift in unexpected ways, both large and small. None of us have asked to join this club, but we are members, nonetheless. You are one of us now. We love you already. Welcome to KrazyLand!